Doubts, They give purpose to some but take it away from others

I think its safe to say that my life has experienced dramatic changes since the end of secondary school. Claiming to be more mature i have made decisions that I would normally avoid. Everyday i experience dilemmas. All teenagers have doubts that need to be clarified. I seek someone who will give me answers that arent biased. I dont pretend to know everything( ok sometimes I do but ill usually admit that i was cocking), but im pretty certain that we all have a purpose in life. Im not one to be envious but somehow when i see a person who tells me that they know exactly what they are going to do i am overwhelmed with jealously. I know this is wrong and I am in the process of trying to ameliorate the situation. The Bible says something about jealousy. If im not mistaken its one of the commandments(correct me if im wrong).

I was reading 'I hope they serve beer in hell' by Tucker Max and found the book thoroughly entertaining. Some of my friends would find this guy repulsive but I think he is cool because he is actually happy with himself. The guy is a genious simply because he has found a way to make money by being a jerk. I am surrounded by so many people of various personalities. Though I claim to be a self made man, Ive got to admit that probably a quarter of who I am today is the result of interaction with other human beings and animals.... hehe..... The other three quarters are all Gopi though. Nobody forced me to eat the whole cow at Mc Donalds. Well there were all those advertisements on TV but i aint putting the blame on others( for once). TV has had its effect on me. It made me lazy and greedy.

Friends have caused me grief at times but have also given me the best moments of my life. Its pretty much the same when it comes to family. But i am no Saint. If being a full time jerk was an occupation id probably be the CEO of the organization(mayb id be vice president if Tucker Max join the organization). Anyway, people come and go in life and one can only hope that when they go it will be because they wanted to and not because they were forced to. There are many people who have come into my life, become close to me and suddenly the relationship just evaporates and I never hear from them. This doesnt happen with family because... Actually i dont know why it just doesnt happen. I wouldnt let a relationship evaporate. I prefer forcing it to boil. I prefer to let tempers flare than to keep quiet and ignore the obvious. Besides its always better when both parties understand fully what has happened and why it has happened. However, there is a possibility that when tempers flare an understanding will be reached. Though both parties may feel disgruntled for a short period of time(mayb years) the relationship is preserved. Im selfish and have friends who are exactly like me though they would claim otherwise. My doubts have led me to think that maybe I should stop trying to make the world revolve around me and instead focus on making myself a better person for the world. The thing is Im just to lazy. I dont want to change. I enjoy not caring about what others think. I feel secure being a jerk. If ive learnt one thing in life its that good people always get screwed somehow. Its getting late, im sick, grumpy and hungry so il continue this some other time. MERRY CHRISTMAS. GG.

Holidays

The word holiday is defined as a period of time when you are not at work or school.... So i guess im on holiday.... According to this definition, If ure expelled or fired ur on holiday. Anyways Christmas is fast approaching and well most of the people i know except Siew Kiat are on holiday. Siew if you're reading this den imagine me insulting u the way i normally do when u act cheap.

It is the time to be merry and have all the fun in the world. The saying the more the merrier doesnt apply to me. I hate big crowds. I really cant see the fun when 1000 people gather on a street spraying coloured chemicals and foam at each other. Call me boaring and old fashioned but my ideal Christmas is family and friends on a nice big table having dinner. Singing carols and dancing wouldnt hurt either. Most importantly of course is alcohol. When Jack n John join the party things always get better. My mom is totally against alcohol, maybe thats why i enjoy it. Call me stupid and immature but somehow anything that my mom doesnt like attacts me. Examples: My dad, money, alcohol and fun.

My friends from the UK are coming back... All they do is whine about how lonely and sad they are over there. Self absorbed bastards cant understand how lucky they are to be doing medicine in the UK. In Taylor's thats all they raved about. Roshan n Chee Kit im talking about u 2. Allrite chee kit maybe not so much u since uve got Jack n Baileys to keep u company. Hehe. Honestly i cant wait 2 get out of here. Im not really looking forward to studying as much as im looking forward to living by myself. Emancipation is something ive been looking for ever since the day I was born. I HATE RULES. I just cant live with them. Everytime i hear a rule, all i can think of is how to get around it. Im a rebel. I always do what im not suppose to do. Not because im a attention seeker but beacuse of the desire to know wat the consequences will be and ive can get away with it. If i live by myself then ill find out who I truly am. Currently im on holiday. I say this because my full time job is being GopitheGreat (yes this is how big my ego is) but somehow lately im content with not being the best and letting God decide how my life should be. Or It could be the other way around where im Gopi and ive been on holiday and lately ive come back to God. Anywayz happy holidayz ppl... Im on a journey to find myself! Hopefully uve already found urself... ;)

Bloging

Decisions that I make on a daily basis are normally impulsive and are done without much thought. However, there are some decisions that I crack my head on. Sometimes I think all the unnecessary reasoning is to no avail. Lately though Ive been somewhat enlightened.... This blog is impulsive... Boredom got to me. Apparently, my writing isn't good enough so I was hoping that this would improve it.

To those of you reading this there are few things I need to clear up before my first official post.

1. Im mean and if Ive offended you I dont care( unless youre a really hot girl in which case you should notify me so I can edit the post)
2. Some things I say in this blog will probably contradict the things Ive said when I was selling you something. In this the information on the blog is redundant. If youre still not satisfied I dont care. Hehe.
3. If you know me well then you would probably know that Im a honest person and #2 is bullshit. If u dont like my language refer to #1.
4. If you do not appreciate my posts nobody is stopping you from leaving this web page.

Thats all.... I hereby proclaim MY TAKE open to readers. By the way GoD BleSS U!!!!